Caring for the Body: What Families Can Do and What Helps

When someone dies, the body is still here. It holds the quiet weight of what has passed, and it can feel unfamiliar or fragile to those who love them. Families often ask: 'What can we do? What is safe? What matters?'

This guide is here to answer those questions plainly, without rushing, without judgment, and without implying that there is only one right way. Many families find it helpful to first read When Someone Has Died to understand what really needs attention in the first hours.

Presence matters more than perfection

In the early hours and days, the most important thing you can do is simply be present. Sit with the person who has died. Notice their stillness. Open a window if it feels comforting. Light a candle if it helps.

You do not need to act immediately. You do not need to have all the answers. Your presence is a form of care in itself.

What families can do

Some families want to care for the body directly. This can include:

• Gently washing or dressing the body if it feels safe and appropriate

• Changing sheets or moving the body carefully, respecting comfort and dignity

• Sitting vigil with the body, talking, singing, or simply being near

  
  

These actions are allowed and, in most circumstances, safe. They do not require professional training. What matters most is attentiveness and gentleness.

What families do not need to do

There is a lot of fear about “doing it wrong.” The truth is:

• The body does not need to be refrigerated immediately in most circumstances, especially if the death occurred at home in cooler conditions. There are ways that you can keep the body cool if you have concerns.

• You do not need to perform rituals unless it feels right to you.

• You do not need to hire a funeral director or caretaker immediately.

The body can stay at home. It can stay still while families orient themselves to the fact of the death.

Time, touch, and choices

Families often find that small choices matter more than grand gestures:

• A gentle touch, a hand on the shoulder, a soft voice

• Choosing to dress the person in clothing that has meaning

• Keeping a vigil for a few hours or overnight

These simple acts are often remembered by families long after the funeral, more than flowers, speeches, or ceremonies.

When to ask for guidance

Professional guidance is available, but it is not obligatory. Families may choose to:

• Ask a deathcare worker for instruction on safe handling

• Seek advice on refrigeration or transport if leaving home is necessary

• Consult someone experienced for reassurance

Support should meet you where you are, not replace your choices or rush you.

One last thought

This time with the body is unrepeatable. There is no checklist that replaces it. There is no “correct” length of time to spend.

You are allowed to move slowly. You are allowed to touch, or not touch. You are allowed to simply sit.

It is not about control. It is about care, quiet, steady, human care.

Caring for the body is one step; Funerals, Ceremonies & Choice can guide families in shaping meaningful ceremonies afterwards.

If you’re supporting a family and want guidance on caring for a body at home, I offer advice and presence without obligation.

Contact Claire on 0406 103 699